Random Reports from my Inbox
Henleaze OB, 5 May 2005
After slumping to 35/8 off 12 overs having opted to bat first, things were looking pretty dire at the YMCA ground last night for Laz XI.
Despite both openers (Mann and Lines) looking confident and heading to the reward of a birthday cake from scorer Hansell if 10 runs were achieved (individually!), Mann fell just short caught at slip and left Lines to celebrate double figures. The thought of chocolate muffins might have distracted Martin, who fell moments later. Then the collapse - a series of poor shots and good bowling / fielding combined to provide a list of single figure scores in the virgin book.
Not knowing whether to commence the rain dance or offer the leaden cakes to the fielders, rescue came in the form of a fabulous 9th wicket partnership between Irvine (35no) and Godfrey (15no) that oosed confidence and almost contributed to an unlikely victory. A series of prods and pulls and rarely spotted competent running between the wickets culminated in a partnership of 47 that would have gone on had the overs not run out.
Buoyed by the pendulum swing, the Laz bowlers started well, but Davies (Heleaze OB opening bat) carried his bat (37no) and kept the run rate within sight throughout. Nerves were jangling on the boundary edge as 20 were required from the last 4 overs, but 14 from 3 balls soon settled the game and Henleaze celebrated their inaugural match with their first victory, reaching the 86 required in the 19th over.
Special mention to Hart and Scott who bowled economically under testing conditions. MOTM would go to Laz for making a beautifully paced unbeaten 35.
See here for the other view. [More from HOB here, here, here and here. If only we were that organised]
Easton Cowboys, 7 July, 2005
An ambitious tactic of fielding only 2 recognised bowlers* paid dividends last night with a comprehensive win.
Batting first, the Laz boys posted 167/8(?) with yet another fine batting display by MOTM John Mann who notched a half century and almost carried his bat. There was an early wobble as Spencer (4) went to go large early in his innings, only to witness splayed stumps. A rare sighting of SDF (1) aroused the minimal crowd for a few moments, but he was soon following Spencer back to the hutch.
The Cowboys' capt then took his foot off the gas and allowed a productive partnership between Brads (19) and JM to flourish by rotating his bowlers.
The diminutive pair unleashed several boundaries before Brads was adjudged to be LBW, following a half hearted appeal.
Rummels (29) and Hansell (26) played brief cameos to keep up the run rate with several unorthodox shots played to make use of the short boundary on 1 side of the ground.
The Cowboys started their innings well, but experienced a collapse and became becalmed around the 100 runs mark. At 50/1 and keeping up with the run rate, things were looking bleak for Laz XI, but for once it was magnificent fielding that won the day. With Cowboys' captain Alan looking capable from the start of his innings the game was in the balance, but he was removed along with Cowboys hopes of victory by super work in the field by SDF who positioned himself at short(ish) square leg and stopped a full bloodied shot before hurtling the ball to bowler Jules who calmly removed the bails, whilst both batsmen looked on bemused standing beside each other at the strikers end!
Fielding was great, but special mention for Laz who took a splendid catch in the deep. He sprinted from long on to almost barge Craig out of the way at mid-wicket to claim a victim for Rummels and sliced his finger webbing in the process and duly left the field of play. Also, Jules snapped up a fine take at point off Craig...
The Cowboys struggled to 112/8(ish) off 20 overs, with Rummels and Bradley bowling the last 2 overs to apply the screw!
Easily the best fielding display I've witnessed by a Laz team - well done to all...
Winford, 17 July 2005
A very comfortable 9 wicket win last Thurs vs a depleted Winsford side who only named 9 in their starting line up and had an average age of 15 (lifted considerably by the 78 year old club Chairman, Hugh).
Laz fielded first and restricted Winsford to 120(ish?) - most memorable moment was Jules taking a fantastic one handed catch at mid-on.
Martin and Frazer opened the batting and put on 97 before Martin became the only Laz wicket of the evening to fall. We can blame Tim for starting the boundary conversation with questions of "have Laz ever won by 10 wkts?", "have we ever had a century opening partnership?" and "has Martin ever scored a half century?". Needless to say the answers were no, no and yes - so Martin registered his second best score ever with 37(ish)*.
For the record, Martin informed us that his best score is 55 (date and opposition currently unknown - Martin, can you complete the story?)
Brunel House, 2 Aug 2005
So the sunshine returned to the Bristol skies and in turn so did the gentlemen (and players) representing that bastion of decency Lazarus XI CC…
With the evening ‘set fair’ and El Presidente taking the Captaincy reins, the stage was set for the penultimate ‘challenge’ in the Lazarus ’05 calendar..
The season has drawn through very successfully and those Gladiatorial stalwarts unavailable from now on in have taken their bows.. but with typical
Lazarus resilience we still took the field with a very strong squad.. facing the Brunel House motley crew of escaped giraffes, Captain BirdsEye (rtd) (That’s me..!!)Barry Bethel etc.. and El Presidente won the toss and elected to bat first…
Having a secret agenda is something that one could never accuse El Presidente of having… (?) So, when he announced to the early arrivals that the batting line up was being arranged by the order in which we all arrived.. I thanked my lucky stars that I had lost my job and could get their in ‘dole time’ and it also made clear why El Presidente was there so promptly as well!!
So, the Chairman and El Presidente opened the batting (nepotism anyone?)and with typical gusto Freegard set to a bowling attack lacking in confidence from the last time they had faced him… smashing the second ball for a thunderous boundary and then complaining that he ‘couldn’t see the ball’ drew sharp intakes of breath and even the ‘impartial’ umpiring of GingerBok was called into question.. however, the subsequent moving of the ramshackle ‘sightscreen’ (whilst other players retrieved the lost ball..) soon calmed things and Freegard was striking the ball around the field with typical gusto as the bowler - Hanson (ummbop)- varied his length to probe a weakness… from the other end Captain Birds Eye (rtd) cleverly sought revenge for the early season assault that Freegard had wrought…. As you can tell by this dialogue, the strike was being held very much by one end and this was reflected in the exit of Freegard chasing one of Ummbop’s wider deliveries (with eyes wide open..) to be taken very well by Mr Petulant (the ‘keeper). With Freegard taking his leave with 32 and a total of 40 on the board, it doesn’t take Timbo’s brain to work out that El Presidente hadn’t put much bat to ball!
In the spirit of the car park batting order, you will never guess who had ‘arrived’ next… no? Well, Mr Clapperton (Derek Randall to his chums) casually strode to the crease, waving airily with Freegard’s bat as he practiced hither to unseen strokes… and so the assault continued – poor opposition! – taking no time at all to find his eye and amid wide eyed rapture from the hutch, ‘Gosh Jules can bat..!’ Clapperton set about the attack in the same way as had previously departed.. (i.e in great style and NOT just using his eye to bludgeon the ball around!)
Meanwhile, El Presidente.. who may have had one too many bottles of port recently.. (the gout seemed to affect him in the field – see later..) was quietly accruing some runs in not too convincing a fashion.. it was after another quick single which pushed his blood pressure ever closer to the edge that I think he decided to do what he does best, the only difference this time was that he was to be his own victim.. yes, Laz fans, you’ve guessed it.. he ran himself out…! (very noble)
This selfless act of cardio-vascular care brought the next ‘arrival’ to the crease in the shape of Jon ‘Bagpuss’ Godfrey and those familiar with his style, realised the shrewdness of his arrival into the car park meant adding solidity in the mid riff (surely middle order?). However, JG’s luck was not in today and neither was he as he was adjudged LBW by the Chairman umpiring at the other end (a vociferous cry of ‘Trigger finger’ and other less than savoury comments, as ever failed to change the official’s mind) Around the same time (the order has escaped me – more wine please Travers..) Clapperton decided he had done enough (36) and it was time to return to the hutch and let someone else have a go at the rabble in the field (‘scoreboard’ shouts from ‘Barry Bethel’ just before a delivery was bowled etc..)
Fortunately for the scorer, this brought ‘Special’ to the crease, who I am amazed to see, managed to amass 26 in his occupation of the crease! If he had connected with half of the shots he missed, then that score could easily have been trebled.. but who am I to criticise?.. His partnership with Hart Mingerlover saw a power surge as kettles were boiled across the Country and viewing figures for Coronation Street surged as the population checked in on the everyday happenings of Northern folk… and then a wicket fell.. Hart had been trying hard to push the score and had fallen, caught in circumstances my dementia forgets..
Thus Gingerbok appeared and hopes of the swash and buckle returning were soon dashed as Special stole the strike and played for his average (which must be approaching single figures..?) the six and out policy that the Ginger one had employed earlier in the season failed as an ill judged single in the last over meant that Special saw out the innings in true style and prevented the viewing public from seeing more of the revelation that has been Andrew ‘Lionel Blair’ Boynton.. With this the innings ended with Lazarus XI posting a very competitive 156 for the loss of 5 wickets….
It is here that I would like to discuss the bowling attack…. However, our sporting opponents could only field one person who was able to write and so did not complete our book..
Special mentions in the bowling/fielding area must go to Hart Mingerlover for an excellent opening spell which tore into their top order and stopped their innings from the start.. also to Gingerbok for being mindful of the light (and his wayward line) by reducing his run up and bowling ‘spin’. Crucially, and with the Brunel House reply in tatters.. the Skipper turned to non-bowlers to ‘give everyone a go’. Some excellent catching saw the wickets tumble at crucial stages.. here Gingerbok (‘falling over’) and Freegard (God he’s quick for a fat lad) must take a bow…
I must mention ‘poor’ Dobby who copped an awful lot of flak during his ‘spell’ on the pitch, but once again saw fit to be the bigger man, even when he had a perfectly legitimate wicket called no-ball by Gingerbok, just because of the height it was bowled from…(tee hee)
Oh.. and Bristol Airport have raised a complaint with the committee and insist that we don’t bowl ‘The’ Mann and El Presidente in tandem again.. as they had to rearrange the flight path due to the methods that the two demon bowlers employed… (duly noted)
In summary then… Lazarus XI posted 156 for 5 and restricted the Brunel House team to 76 (?) for 8 in reply.. another fine win for the team and we look forward to next week’s ‘must win’ grudge match against the Utd Banks (play in the dark cheats). I understand there is great disappointment at the season finale and there is talk (and offers) of further games – let’s all see what we can do in this regard..- If not, then let’s make sure we do have an end of season social function at some point to celebrate, remember and look forward…
Ps Apologies to Spencer ‘Special’ Halliday for the criticism above..
PPS We’re still a couple short for next week.. so come on chaps where are you??
Housing Pirates, 21 July 2005
Well, the Captaincy changed hands but the winning ways didn't...
On a remarkable day for Cricket, the Lazarus XI team shattered records and broke hearts wherever they stood tall.
Early examination of the YMCA pitch proved to be more reminiscent of the long gone Eastville dog track, however, a confident Freegard (skippering the side in Mr 'NO Excuse' Hansell's absence) won the toss, looked to the skies and the line up and elected to bat..
No surprises with the batting order as 'The' Mann & Freegard provided the opening partnership (early cries of 'not another selfish egotistical skipper' were like water of a drunks back.. we'll leave THAT to the weekend eh Laz?!) as the Golden Hill opening bowlers dreamed of McGrath like returns in the beautiful sunshine that Henleaze offered..
In typical fashion 'The' held his end very well, demonstrating to all the art of the opening batsman.. meanwhile at the other end.. having taken his 'sighter' of 4 runs, the skipper had a plan... get the runs on the board and get the others in bat.. (whilst providing some - well needed - fielding practice to the opposition!) riding his luck and pushing the score rapidly forward Freegard eventually missed the inevitable straight one (that kept
low!) bringing the next piece of inspired Captaincy decision making to the crease...
If anyone is looking to improve their batting, then I have a simple solution..
Feign a hernia and dye your hair ginger.. (it's worked wonders for Frazer)
With the score at 32 - 1 and in the fifth over, the Ginger one strode purposefully to the crease accompanied by Spencer's wand, the auburn haired one then imperiously set about reminding the bowlers that they were mere mortals in the face of a specky, ginger tosser... I won't talk you through it (Frazer has it written on his hand) but suffice to say, it was magnificent to watch... Shot of the day was not any of the sixes (although the one into the car park following the ego joke was class!) but the delicate tickle through the recently evaporated slip cordon - followed by cries of 'Oh he's just taking the p*ss..!'
My hearty congratulations to Frazer for a magnificent innings (112), raising the benchmark once again and taking the mantle of highest Laz scorer from...
Ginger Matt (if I had hair I would dye it!!)
So... with 216 (yes, the first time 200 had been scored by a Laz team in 20
overs!!) the opposition decided that attack was the best form of defence..
they hadn't banked upon the opening salvoes of Choo Choo steaming in from the hedgehog end.. bowling with true unnerving McGrath like accuracy and
pace(?) Choo Choo scored his own personal victory, by bowling a maiden and also by winning his delightfully polite enquiry of the umpire regarding the batsman's position vis a vis his leg and wicket... 'I say.. err.. how was that..?'
Special mentions to the rest of the bowlers for their toil.. and given the freedom of such a run cushion, allowed for some fun and banter in the order and always good (?) to see Barney taking the El Pres 'plenty of air' route (and ensuring that the oppo replied with some dignity (150ish)
Also, I must thank Andy 'Lionel Blair' Boynton for holding his end whilst Frazer smacked the ball around and provided just enough dot balls to frustrate all in the hutch.. only to then use his 'eyes' and answer his critics with a much needed boundary!!
Whilst on the subject, 'respect is due' to Dobby, for raising his game, standing tall and taking the high ground in the face of some spirited banter regarding the last over he bowled (and the few overs he faced!) - is this the way to Amarillo? - PLUS.. he had to do the bag having scored 11!! (with that cheeky six, which nearly knocked GingerBok off of the shot of the
day!!)
So, well done and thanks to all.. a great day for Laz cricket.. if, as El Presidente says.. we should 'save the winning for the weekend' then thank the Lord that the weekend starts on Thursday!!
PES, 25 Aug 2005
Well, we got within a couple of overs of completing the game, but the weather intervened. PES can claim a D/L victory if they like, but I'd recommend a draw goes down in the Laz log book!
Laz XI batted first on a green wicket that looked to offer something for everyone. Spencer demonstrated he can play defensive strokes, but regretted it, as after just 1 delivery he'd been given his marching orders by a deliberative Lines, adjudged LBW (0/1 off 1 ball). Freegard looked to make amends, but succumbed to Warne style sledging from the opposition captain and soon followed Spencer back to the hutch. When Boynton followed moments later, the proverbial gun barrel was in view, but up stepped O'Connor to post a domineering 33, including 2 great straight 6's. A mediocre 118 was posted, but Laz bowlers responded well to the pressure and PES were soon reeling at 43/4 as ex-Laz favourites Rummels and Bradley perished cheaply as Pridmore and Johns won the early exchanges. The latter's 3 wkts in 3 overs proving crucial and although PES had wickets in hand, the run rate soared and when the rain came, 40 were still required and despite Freegard's best efforts to up the run-rate with leg side bowling tactics,
119 looked a long way off.
Well done and thanks to Barney for the game and the post match tea.
Also, well done to those who coughed up their annual subs without the need for thumb-screws!
ps - magic moment: Brads umpire signals, including the 'shoulder shrug'
implying not out
This is what we are about
Extract from a mail from El Presidente:
XXX,
I for one firmly believe we pick 11 players as a social occasion. If we win, great, but this club since its inception has never been obsessed with winning, indeed for the majority of its life at least, it has probably been more obsessed with losing, or at least more experience with losing. I feel that winning as the primary reason for playing will leave the club poorer.
I appreciate I may be out of step with some of the younger members, but it is an interesting question you raise & for my money at least winning is very low on the list of priorities. Leave that for the weekend.
Laz
Followed at some point by this ramble:
I agree with Timbos compiments about your organisational skills. I trust you have made sufficient allowances for a summer break for you and your family somewhere sunny? It brings back happy memories of my days at the treasury. All this nostalgia. Happy memories for me of Chris the Punk smoking on the boundary, and SDF playing himself in.....was it really like that... Who knows. My memory is fading. I am keen to join in the can of worms that seems to have been opened over a beer, but I am currently on anti biotics for this bloody finger so cant drink. I may have to leave it to the weekend.
Laz
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